Chapter 2

The man opened the door.

He was wearing just boxer shorts, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

His chest muscles sagged, and his eyes were suspicious.

He scanned me up and down, asking what I wanted.

I started by expressing my admiration for their marital bliss and my awe at his stamina.

Then I delicately suggested that I really didn't want to hear their second child’s entire developmental journey from conception to birth, and perhaps they could try to keep it down a little.

The man’s eyes widened. He barked, "Are you going to control the sky, the earth, and our private life too?!"

From then on, we had a lively debate about each other's family values and mental health.

He graciously inquired about the state of my sanity.

I, in turn, offered suggestions for improving his moral compass.

Subsequently, he started making inappropriate comments about my female relatives.

I, on the other hand, questioned his paternity, offering possibilities like the milkman, some random guy, or even the neighborhood stray, urging him to cooperate and verify it as soon as possible.

To my surprise, he was completely ungrateful, rolling up his sleeves, ready to fight me.

I was overjoyed. Tonight, I had truly met my lucky star!

I saw dollar signs; a new luxury car was practically waving at me. I quickly stuck my face out, "Go on, hit me! Hit me! Please, I beg you, knock me out!"

Just then, his wife rushed out of the bedroom, shoved him aside, and squawked in her duck-like voice, "Honey, we don't stoop to the level of a psycho like him, QUACK!"

Finally, they slammed the door shut, ending our friendly exchange.

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