Chapter 1

Right at the start of freshman year, my new college roommate blew up on social media, hitting a million followers overnight by playing the role of a bougie, disciplined rich girl who spoiled her whole dorm.

Online, she looked aesthetic and sweet. But in real life behind closed doors, she drove the rest of us straight into a nervous breakdown.

After trying to reason with her over and over, only to have her sick her rabid fanbase on us to cyberbully us into silence, I decided I was completely done taking the high road.

I flipped the script, made a parody account tracking "A Day in the Life of a Perfect Aesthetic Dorm Girl," and went mega-viral.

When the fall semester kicked off, my new college roommate, Chloe, went viral online with a single dorm makeover vlog.

In the clip, she was decked out in high-end designer pieces with flawless makeup.

The footage showed her scrubbing the entire dorm top to bottom all by herself, sweet as could be, carefully putting up chic wallpaper for every roommate's bed area, hanging cozy privacy curtains, and setting out cute little ambient nightlights.

Since it was move-in week, the video exploded the second it went live, racking up thousands of shares and comments from freshmen everywhere.

It shot straight to the trending tab, crowning her the "Ultimate Dream Roommate." The university's official social media accounts even dropped a like and reposted her video right away, claiming her as campus pride.

Naturally, sitting at the center of all this hype, the rest of us were thrilled, too.

In our dorm SnapChat group, our roommate Wendy couldn't stop sending paragraphs of thanks.

Our other roommate, Mia, was hyped enough to drop several generous cash transfers into the group, saying she literally couldn't wait to get to campus and meet everyone.

I dropped a nod of approval, added a "plus one" in the chat, and quietly swapped out the generic skincare sets I’d planned to give my new roommates for brand-new designer bags instead.

"Hey girls, I'm here!"

I pushed open the door and found the three of them in the middle of trading gifts. I squeezed in with a grin and set the gift boxes down on the desk.

"Take your pick! If you don't like the colors, just let me know and I'll go swap them."

"Holy crap, Queen! Consider me your personal minion for life!"

Mia squealed in excitement and pressed a sleek, high-end fountain pen into my hand.

Next to her, Wendy scrambled to pull out a greaseproof paper package from her bag.

"Emma, try some of these."

She timidly held out the paper-wrapped homemade cheese sticks, her cheeks blushing so hard they looked ready to drip blood.

"Hmph. Trading a few greasy sausages for a brand-new Chanel bag? Yeah, I’d be embarrassed too," Chloe suddenly chimed in from the side, a condescending smirk plastered across her face as she looked down at Wendy.

"Wait, no, that’s not what I meant! Emma, I swear I wasn't trying to trade this for the bag!"

Panic flared across Wendy's face, and she instinctively jerked her hands back to tuck the food away.

Seeing how humiliated Wendy looked, I reached out, took the package gently, and gave her a reassuring smile.

"They're just gifts. Honestly, I should be the one embarrassed for just throwing money around instead of putting real thought into it like you did."

"Oh, so now I'm the bad guy for keeping it real?"

Seeing my arm hooked warmly through Wendy's, Chloe’s face clouded over instantly.

"Of course not! You just have a big sense of fairness," Mia jumped in to smooth things over, seeing the tension thick in the air. "We're all sharing a room now, so we’re basically family. No need to keep score!"

Thanks to Mia's deliberate cheerleading, the awkward moment blew over, and the rest of the day went by smoothly.

That night, as I was lying in bed chilling and catching up on a show, a notification popped up on my phone:

Your friend Chloe just posted: 'Roommate gifts! They loved them so much.'

Gifts? I tapped the notification instinctively. The picture attached was a glossy snapshot of the three Chanel bags.

Wait, was my reading comprehension broken?

I opened the comment section, fully intending to drop a heart emoji to clear things up.

Then I caught the top-pinned comment that Chloe had already replied to:

[Omg, Chanel?! Your roommates are so spoiled! Best roommate award goes to you again!]

Chloe had replied with a bashful blushing emoji.

Right. My lip twitched as I kept scrolling down.

Someone else asked: [With a gift that pricey, what did the roommates get you in return?]

It was as if Chloe had been waiting for that exact question. Within sixty seconds, she dropped a photo of Wendy's homemade cheese sticks right under the comment.

[My roommate made them by hand. They're super yummy!]

Predictably, the second that picture dropped, the comments turned into a dumpster fire of hate directed at Wendy.

[It's totally fine, guys! A gift is a gift. Honestly, I still feel like I should have put more thought into mine.]

Excuse me? Those were literally my exact words from earlier today.

At this point, I let out a dry, incredulous laugh.

"Chloe, you..."

I spoke up, not even sure where to begin, only to see her frantically swiping on her screen before snapping her head up to look at me, wide-eyed.

"Never mind."

Forget it. Give people a shred of dignity. I’d drop a subtle hint later.

I leaned back into bed, intending to go back and check the post, only to find it was already gone.

Did she realize how trashy that looked and delete it herself? My opinion of her softened just a tiny bit.