Chapter 1

I was promoted to principal dancer at the New York City Ballet.

While I stood on stage basking in flowers and thunderous applause,

my husband was in a hotel room passionately having sex with his personal assistant.

A few months later, his assistant got pregnant.

He brought her home and moved her straight into our guest room.

Taking my hand, my husband said:

"You always said you wanted to keep your dancer's figure and didn't want kids, so I solved that problem for you.

Marie is carrying our baby. Once she gives birth, she'll leave, and the three of us will go on living happily together."

I slapped him across the face.

"You disgust me. Take your mistress and get the hell out of my house."

After the final curtain call for "Giselle", I stood backstage watching the audience filter out in an orderly fashion.

Even though I had prepared myself mentally, not seeing Jordan in the crowd still left a hollow ache in my chest.

My roles were growing bigger and more demanding, yet the number of times he came to see me perform dwindled with every passing season.

"Alright everyone, gather round!"

Director Miller stood in the center of the stage, clapping her hands to call the company together.

We formed a circle around her.

"First off, congratulations on tonight’s performance. The dedication, sweat, and soul each of you poured into this production shone through brilliantly. Truly magnificent work!"

The stage erupted in applause.

"Now, I have wonderful news to share with the entire company. On behalf of the New York City Ballet, I am proud to officially announce our newest principal dancer!"

Meeting Director Miller’s warm, affectionate gaze, my mind went blank for a second.

She extended her open palm toward me.

"Joy Reynolds."

Shock morphed into dizzying euphoria. All those years of relentless sweat, bleeding toes, and raw passion had finally borne fruit.

Tears spilled down my cheeks uncontrollably. A sweet, overwhelming warmth flooded my chest.

I had finally done it.

If only Jordan were here. I wanted so badly to throw my arms around him, to let him share in the crowning glory of my life.

I drove home with an ecstatic heart, only to find the house dark and eerily quiet, lit by just a tiny lamp in the foyer.

Just as I pulled out my phone to call Jordan, my mother-in-law, Martha, emerged from her bedroom.

"Oh, our grand ballerina is finally back, huh?" Seeing the bouquet of roses in my arms, her scowl deepened. "Who’s giving you flowers in the middle of the night? Let me tell you something, Joy—all that rubbing up against other men, grabbing and touching during your dances is sickening enough. If you ever dare cheat on my son, I won't let you off easy."

Every ounce of joy vanished in an instant.

"Mom, after tonight's show, the artistic director officially promoted me to principal dancer. That’s what the flowers are for," I explained, holding back my exasperation.

"Hmph. You’d better not have any other ideas," she scoffed coldly.

"Go into the kitchen and drink the herbal brew I made you. You two have been married for nearly five years now, and not a single sign of a baby bump. I’ve cooked you so many tonics, yet you haven’t gained a single pound. Look at you—skinny as a rake! How on earth are you supposed to carry a baby?"

"Mom, my career is at a critical turning point right now. I can’t have children at this moment."

I set the bouquet down on the living room table with a weary sigh.

"What career? How much money does that little dancing gig of yours even bring in? Instead of wasting your energy there, why aren't you focusing on taking care of this home and giving our family a healthy baby boy? What kind of wife stays away from home day and night like you do? I’m saying this for your own good—once a woman gets older, having children is nothing but trouble."

"Mom, plenty of women have children in their thirties. Besides, modern medicine is advanced; there’s always IVF if needed. I never said I would never have children—I just want to wait a bit."

"If you’re going to have them anyway, why can’t you do it right now?! Why do you have to wait until you're in your thirties?!" she demanded loudly.

"Mom, as a professional ballet dancer, the demands on my body and weight are extremely strict."

"I don't have the luxury or confidence right now to handle the physical consequences pregnancy brings. I’ve danced for well over a decade. Dance is an inseparable part of who I am."

"Stop it! Stop making excuses! At the end of the day, you’re just too selfish to have a child. Joy, how can you be so self-centered?"

I pressed my lips together and swallowed the urge to argue further.