Chapter 4

Gotta say, a change of mindset makes all the difference.

Before, I yearned for love, always fixated on Alexander's every move.

If he frowned, my heart would flutter, afraid he was displeased.

If he groaned or pulled away, my heart would ache, thinking I'd done something wrong.

But once I started seeing him as a means to an end, all those anxieties vanished.

All I cared about was whether he was enjoying himself, if the angle was right, and if he was going hard enough.

After three rounds, Alexander's face was practically green.

I looked up, trying to kiss him again, but he gently pushed me away.

"I have court tomorrow, can't be too tired."

Oh, okay.

I've been 'thirsty' for over twenty years, so it was only natural I couldn't hold back.

He didn't want to continue, so I wasn't upset. I got dressed and out of bed.

Alexander rolled over, looking at me with shock.

"Where are you going?"

Me:

"To the guest room. This bed is a mess."

It was… wet. Uncomfortable. I'd catch a cold.

Before, I'd put up with it to be close to him, but now I valued my own health.

Someone else could deal with that discomfort.

I slammed the door shut, leaving Alexander's conflicted expression behind.

The next morning, I slept until ten. He was already gone, leaving a note:

[Business trip to New York for a week.]

Underneath was a stack of cash for living expenses.

Alexander liked to give me cash, I didn't know if it was to humiliate me or what.

I counted it: ten thousand dollars. Generous as always.

I changed clothes, grabbed the money, and headed straight to the bank.

As I walked in, I almost got lost.

Nothing new there. I had my typical 'spoiled princess' syndrome; I didn't know how to do anything.

Even slightly complex environments could overwhelm me.

Finally, I managed to flag down a staff member.

They led me to the counter where I exchanged the cash Alexander gave me for gold bars.

I then moved my own savings into a new account.

After all that, I took a cab to my parents' house.

If I remembered correctly, their business was already in trouble, but they hadn't dared to tell me yet.