Chapter 2

The chip had been activated long ago. Whenever I wasn't actively studying, it would keep working, keep shocking me.

"Mom, it hurts so much. In my next life, I don't want to hurt like this anymore."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm just so tired."

The constant electric shocks made my body convulse on the bed. My arms were covered in bloody scratch marks.

The door opened. Mom came in.

Can I eat now?

I'm so hungry!

"Elena, why are you lying in bed again? Why haven't you finished your math problems?"

She grabbed my chin, her voice seething with anger. "When will you stop being so lazy? If you don't get into college, what will happen to you? Who's going to want you?"

"Get up and write! Now!"

"No food until you finish!"

Mom must have forgotten I hadn't eaten in a day and a night.

Otherwise, why wouldn't she let me eat?

Bella called from the doorway. "Mom! The Christmas Eve special is about to start. Come watch TV!"

"Mom, just forgive Elena. I'm sure she didn't mean to get a zero."

Mom stood up, her voice filled with resentment. "I think she's deliberately trying to make me die of anger."

"How did I give birth to such a useless daughter!"

Years of mental control, combined with constant beatings and abuse.

I couldn't understand. We were both her biological daughters—why did my own mother treat me and my twin sister so differently?

"Don't worry about her. I'll use the app to turn the chip up to maximum. Then we'll see if she dares to slack off!"

Dad hesitated outside the door. "Won't that be too much for Elena to handle?"

"It's Christmas Eve. Let her rest for one day."

Mom shot him a look. "Elena's spoiled because of you. She'll never learn unless it hurts."

"This is the only way she'll get into a good college."

Dad hesitated. "But..."

Before he could finish, Mom cut him off. "Look, they both have the same chip. Why doesn't Bella feel pain?"

"It's because Elena is too lazy. Not like Bella, who scores perfect grades."

Bella stood beside them, gently holding Mom's arm. "Mom, don't worry. I'd never slack off like Elena. You can turn on my chip if you don't believe me."

Mom stroked her hand. "I believe you. That's why you get perfect scores."

"You're such a good girl, Bella. I'll never activate your chip."

So Bella's chip didn't hurt—not because it didn't work, but because Mom had never turned it on.

The shocks grew stronger.

Our handwriting on the test was so different, yet Mom never questioned it.

Bella closed the door. "Elena, study hard. I'm going to watch the fireworks with Mom and Dad."

I want to go too.

The fireworks filling the sky must be so beautiful.

It hurts so much.

The chip is reminding me not to slack off.

But I'm not slacking off. I'm the one who got the perfect score.

I forced myself to sit up but instantly collapsed from the shock.

Mom, I'm not slacking off. I've been studying so hard.

I'm just so tired, so exhausted. Just let me rest for a moment. Just one moment.

But slowly, I stopped feeling the pain.

With my last bit of strength, I dragged myself to the desk.

I pulled out a crumpled notebook.

Inside were all my memories with Mom.

January 15th. Sunny.

Mom checked the app and said I got distracted for two minutes in class. She locked me in the pitch-black basement for two hours.

Mom gave me the free pumpkin cookies that came with her order. Mom really loves me.

Bella ate snacks during class. Mom didn't scold her—she took her out for dinner at a fancy restaurant instead.

This time, I wasn't just writing a diary entry. I wanted to write down the whole truth.

"Mom, I really wasn't slacking off or sleeping in. I woke up at 5 a.m. every school day, but Bella kept hiding my school ID so I couldn't get into the building."

"Mom, the perfect-score test was mine. Bella lied. I know you don't believe me, but I left you a letter. You'll understand after you read it."

"Mom, tonight I wasn't deliberately avoiding my homework. It's because I'm dying. Can you forgive me?"

By the time I finished writing the last word, the yellowed paper was soaked with my tears.

The old pen fell to the floor and broke.

Even though Mom gave me a used pen while Bella got a 14K gold one, I still treasured it. It was the only gift Mom ever gave me.

But now I couldn't pick it up.

My heart was being shocked continuously by the chip, but I couldn't feel the pain anymore.

My expression froze as I watched myself float upward.

So this is what dying feels like.