Chapter 6

Leo and I grew up together.

He was always the ringleader of our group, the center of attention.

But I, having started school too early and always a beat behind everyone else, remained the shy, overly sensitive chubby kid.

Later, during puberty, I started breaking out in terrible acne, transforming from a shy, chubby kid into an insecure, depressed, chubby kid.

I retreated into myself like a snail, unwilling to talk to classmates, disliking school.

When Leo noticed, he practically dragged me everywhere with him, probably worried I might do something reckless.

“This is our Harper!”

He always spoke without much thought, putting an arm around my shoulder to introduce me to his friends.

“She’s got good grades, a great personality, and she’s adorable. She’s the best friend you could ever ask for.”

Then, during breaks, he’d drag a chair over to ask me about science problems, or force me to quiz him on classic literature.

“Come on, genius, school me! I need an emergency rescue!”

On my solitary walk to the cafeteria, there was always someone loudly chasing after me, calling my nickname until I embarrassedly stopped.

“Stop yelling! The principal will bust us for being too coupley!”

My face was bright red.

After passing through that awkward, confusing phase of hormones, I began to accept myself again.

I recognized my own stiffness and social awkwardness.

I recognized my people-pleasing tendencies, the way I’d unconsciously act silly to try and make others like me in social interactions, only to later self-criticize and despise myself for it.

I feared overly assertive or enthusiastic people, dreading sarcasm, always hesitant and cautious.

But it was okay. There was no law stating everyone had to be outgoing and generous.

I watched Leo flourish in crowds, saw him become student body president, speak as an outstanding representative, and shine during school shows and performances.

I was always happy and proud of him.

Until the first time he secretly drank alcohol, got drunk, and acted like a total fool when he was drunk at my house.

When I turned to the kitchen to make him some honey water.

He suddenly leaned down and kissed my cheek.

“Baby, you’re so cute.”

His arm was wrapped around my neck, the warmth from his face spreading to mine, his eyes, brimming with a hazy affection, sparkled.

In that second, I could even hear the pounding in my chest. Leo completed the last piece of my adolescent puzzle: an unknown, ambiguous love.

But the next morning, Leo had forgotten that drunken kiss.

“I didn’t act crazy and scare you last night, did I, sweetie?”

Leo sipped his soy milk, his eyes sincere, his messed-up hair bouncing.

I looked at his bright, dazzling face, full of youthful vigor.

Then I saw my own reflection in the glass window: my plump, bloated figure.

My back was hunched, I wore braces, and when I didn’t smile, people often said behind my back that I looked fierce.

“No.”

I tried to smile, then quickly closed my mouth.

Burying that unripe seed deep in my heart.

Later, Leo fell in love with Serena, a dazzling transfer student.

I, knowing my place, withdrew from Leo’s life.

Until an unexpected family crisis hit Leo’s family. Their funds were frozen, and they even got involved with people with dangerous connections.

His dramatic early romance with Serena began to unravel.

Leo had to go to the hospital after school to care for his injured father, then work consecutive shifts to earn money.

He spent less and less time with Serena. Sometimes, when he returned to school, his clothes were dirty, bearing unexplained bruises.

Nasty rumors circulated about Leo at school.

They said the Evans family was definitely ruined this time, possibly owing millions, and would never recover. They said Leo might have been selling himself to some rich woman.

Serena began to subtly and intentionally distance herself from Leo.

Until Leo’s grades, which he had always prided himself on, started to drop, falling out of the top fifty in the entire school.

Serena just transferred and ran off on a regular day.

She didn’t even send a breakup text; she simply vanished from Leo’s life.

Leo was completely broken, taking a long time to find the school Serena had transferred to. He walked in just as he saw her kissing her new boyfriend at a coffee shop outside the campus.