Chapter 5

I put on pretty makeup, wore my favorite white dress, and in the dead of winter, walked barefoot on the snow.

I was here to say goodbye.

But in the end, I couldn’t help but wander through the old house.

The rusted door lock, the small casement windows rotted by the wind.

The chipped red walls, and the faded clay figurines.

A male and a female figurine sat quietly on the windowsill of the east wing.

Those were the figurines I had meticulously molded and hand-painted when I was fifteen, a birthday gift for Alex.

After we broke up, Alex returned them to me.

I couldn’t bear to throw them away, but I didn’t want to be constantly reminded of him, so I left them at the old estate.

They represented the purest emotions of my youth.

Now, they, along with their owner, were abandoned.

It turns out, things not cherished, just like people, become so cheap.

A chilling cold crept from my toes, straight to my heart.

I clutched my chest, unable to bear it anymore, and vomited a large gush of blood.

The fresh blood stained the pristine white snow.

Just like my relationship with Alex.

The clean, pure first love in my memory had actually become utterly muddied long ago.

Before I died, I desperately crawled to the locust tree in the courtyard.

On its trunk, immature handwriting carved two names.

Clara Reed.

Alexander Sterling.

I traced the ancient letters on the tree trunk, laughing dazedly.

People always move forward.

Alex had already moved on.

Only I stubbornly remained in place.

Clinging relentlessly to those shattered memories, living out the rest of my days.

I leaned against the tree. In a haze, I seemed to hear my dad’s voice.

“Alex, came to play with Clara again?”

“I’m here to help her with her homework.”

Young me, wearing his favorite white dress, ran out of the attic, overjoyed.

“Alex, my big brother!”

The girl was so lovely, with rosy cheeks and eyes that crinkled when she smiled.

She stood before the boy, looking up at him with a sweet smile.

Her starlit eyes held only him.