Chapter 1

A few days before move-in week, someone dropped over twenty messages into the freshman class SnapChat group.

Every single one was a photo of herself in a skimpy bikini.

"Hey everyone, I really suck at editing photos... can anyone help me touch these up? Pretty please?"

Attached was a cute, pleading kitten GIF.

I tapped on the photos. She sucked at editing?

Her legs were stretched so long she looked six-foot-two!

A bunch of guys instantly jumped in to hype her up. I just took it as free entertainment.

What I didn't expect was that this girl was assigned to my dorm room.

Great. Now the joke was living under my roof.

At ten in the morning, my phone buzzed me awake.

I checked the screen. Someone had spammed the freshman SnapChat group with more than twenty updates.

Opening the chat, I saw a girl whose nickname was "Your Sweetest Little Freshman" sharing over twenty bikini thirst traps.

At first, I thought she posted them in the wrong place.

Usually, photos like that belong on Ins or some dating app, right?

Dropping them into an official freshman class group was beyond weird.

Trying to be helpful, I replied, "Did you mean to send these here?"

She texted back, "Nope, right place!"

Now I was totally baffled.

"It's just that I'm terrible at taking photos, guys. They came out so ugly! Can someone help me edit them? I honestly don't know how."

Another kitten GIF.

The group chat exploded.

An upperclassman immediately chimed in, "You're gorgeous! Why would you even need to edit them?"

That comment went straight to her head. "Aww, stop it! Don't lie to me, they're not pretty at all yet!"

I zoomed in on the photos. Not edited?

Her legs were stretched into inhuman proportions, warping the faces of the people standing behind her into grotesque masks.

Her skin had been filtered so bright and pale she practically glowed like drywall.

Yet some guys were completely blind to it, showering her with compliments.

A few thirsty creeps laid it on thick, and she ate up every single drop of attention. "Make sure you guys remember me! I'm your sweetest little freshman!"

I frowned. Couldn't she tell those guys were just making gross, borderline-sexual jokes at her expense?

Then someone asked what her major was.

"Room 2104, E-Commerce! Don't forget to come say hi!"

Room 2104, E-Commerce?

Wait. That was my major track.

It suddenly hit me that our dorm was still missing our fourth roommate in the private chat. Curiously, I asked, "Are you in Hall 11, Room 303A?"

A cold, single-letter reply came back: "Yeah."

My heart sank straight to the floor.

I added her to our dorm SnapChat group. My roommate, Chloe, and I greeted her warmly.

Even if she seemed completely unhinged online, she was going to be our roommate. As long as she wasn't a terrible person, we could still make it work.

Except she completely ignored us. She kept flirting non-stop with the guys in the massive class group.

It wasn't until late that night that she finally bothered to send us a dry "k."

On move-in day, the rest of us arrived early to unpack our bags.

The sharp clacking of heels echoed down the hallway. We all turned toward the door.

Standing there was a girl in a sheer-strapped crop top showing off her midriff, denim micro-shorts, and three-inch platform heels. A heavy layer of foundation and dramatic makeup failed to hide the sour scowl on her face.

Meet our "sweetest little freshman," Zoey.

"Ugh, this dump is so tiny," she groaned, gesturing for the trail of guys behind her to haul her mountain of luggage inside.

She fluttered a handheld fan in front of their faces. "Thanks so much, boys. You're the best."

By the time the rest of us finished unpacking our own stuff, we were drenched in sweat. Zoey, meanwhile, sat comfortably in a chair, shooting passive-aggressive remarks our way.

"Girls really need to keep a few guys around. Keeps you from looking so pathetic and sweaty."