Chapter 13

In the end, I said nothing.

Just seeing that face, it was as if all my strength suddenly drained away.

I got directly into my car.

It wasn't until the car door closed that the women's yelling was finally cut off.

I drove home, carrying boxes of belongings inside.

I originally couldn't bear to part with my white lab coat, wanting to keep it as a memento.

But now, it was ruined beyond recognition.

I hesitated for a moment, then took it off, stuffed it into a trash bag, and took it outside.

Lucky was surprised to see me home so early. It came trotting over, panting, licking my pant leg.

I patted its head and refilled its food bowl.

Lucky was a dog Liam and I found on the street a few years ago.

I remember I asked Liam to name it back then.

He clearly had no talent for naming things and after thinking for ages, he finally blurted out:

“How about Lucky? Sounds exactly like a dog’s name, doesn’t it?”

I giggled, and we settled on the name.

Watching Lucky eat its kibble, I suddenly felt a little like crying.

These past two years, ever since Liam left, I had grown used to being always on the go.

Leaving before seven in the morning, and not getting back until late at night.

It was as if as long as I was busy enough, I wouldn't have time to think about things I shouldn't.

I wouldn’t feel sad, wouldn’t miss him.

But now, I was forced into idleness.

I went into the kitchen, put some water in a pot, and prepared to boil noodles.

Then I poured a glass of water and went out to sit on the couch.

It turns out, people really can't be idle.

I took a bored sip of water and looked at the pristine white wall.

And then I remembered that once, a large red ‘囍’ character had hung there.

The nearly two-meter-wide symbol of double happiness was painstakingly cut out by Liam himself, after almost half a month of sleepless nights.

Back then, he was still stationed at the Northwood Police Department.

We didn’t have to endure the agony of separation, and I didn’t need to live in constant fear.

Fear of something happening to him, fear of him dying in a foreign land.

Back then, our future was nothing but smooth sailing.

Just like Sam used to tease, a little enviously, “You guys are killing us single folks with all that PDA.”

See, I thought of Sam again.

I remembered that day when he and Liam left, my eyes red and swollen as I saw them off.

Sam had patted his chest then, confidently promising:

“Don’t worry, Alice, as long as I have breath in my body, I’ll bring your man back!”

Sam never came back.

My Liam, it seems, never came back either.