Chapter 1
The day Jessica Smith and I went to pick out our wedding rings, her long-lost first love unexpectedly returned to town.
When we went to pick him up from the airport, she introduced me to him, saying, "This is Sebastian Grant, a friend."
Jessica made it clear that I wasn't her fiancé. She even went a step further and called off our engagement party scheduled for the next day.
Just when she thought I would fight and insist on marrying her, I suddenly said in relief, "Your best friend previously wanted to hook up with me, you know? And honestly, I was kind of interested."
Chapter 1
Cameron came back on the day Jessica and I went to pick out our wedding rings.
She had chosen the date herself.
Last week, Jessica drank herself into a stupor on Cameron's birthday. She stumbled home in the middle of the night, reeking of alcohol. As soon as she saw me, she threw her arms around my neck, calling me "Cam".
She repeatedly demanded to know where I had been all these years and why I had stayed out of touch. It wasn't the first time this had happened in the past five years, either. Each time, Jessica would act like nothing happened afterward, and I'd let it go, never bringing it up.
But this time, I recorded it.
After all, some things needed to be confronted.
The next day, I showed Jessica the video. She barely glanced at the screen and didn't even reach out to take the phone. Instead, she just kept sipping her milk.
With a dismissive shrug, she said, "I thought you'd be used to it by now."
I turned off my phone and smiled bitterly. "I've been with you for five years, and you still can't forget him. It's obvious that without him, you're miserable."
I took a deep breath. "I've thought it through, and I'm done. Go to him."
Without waiting for her response, I walked out the door and went to work.
We didn't speak for three days after that. I didn't bother going home, crashing at my buddy's place instead.
Unexpectedly, Jessica didn't leave. She came looking for me, saying she wanted to get married, that she had already picked a date to choose the rings.
This was her usual way of dealing with things—delivering a sweet cure after having given me the poison herself.
Every time we argued over Cameron, she would make it up to me somehow. She would get up early to make breakfast or book a candlelight dinner for us. She would take my hand with a smile and tell me how good I was. She would say she had gotten used to having me around and that she would definitely fall in love with me eventually.
Every time she dropped these sugar-coated bombs, my defenses would vanish instantly. I would completely forget the hurt and convince myself that even if Jessica were made of stone, I could warm her heart eventually.
My love was truly pathetic.
She had me right where she wanted.
For five years, she would use that trick to ease the tension whenever our relationship hit a wall. I was like her kite, with the string firmly in her grip.
They say that loving someone to the extreme is a sin.
My defeat was inevitable.
As I watched Jessica brimming with excitement about marrying me, I didn't feel that familiar joy anymore. I had proposed several times over the past five years. Each proposal was carefully thought out, but she turned me down every time with one excuse or another.
Now that I had finally decided to let her go, she was the one suggesting marriage.
I looked at her and asked calmly, "Are you sure you really want to get married, Jess?"
Jessica stepped closer and wrapped her arm around mine. "I've thought a lot about it over the past few days, Seb. I've gotten so used to having you around. I can't live without you."
I had dreamed of hearing such a confession a thousand times over the five years we were together. But now that I had finally heard it, the words didn't bring me any sense of sweetness.
-
In the end, I still went to the jewelry store with Jessica to look at rings.
Just as we stepped into the store, her phone rang.
The instant she saw the caller ID, she froze mid-step, completely flustered. When I glanced over, she fumbled to turn off the screen, then looked up at me, her face full of guilt.
I didn't have to guess who it was.
Jessica was usually calm and composed. She would only be rattled this much by receiving a call she had waited five years for.
"Go ahead, answer it," I said, folding my arms and watching her with a wry smile.
She bit her lip but eventually rejected the call. "It's just a spam call. Nothing worth answering. Let's pick out our rings!"
I didn't bother guessing, nor did I even feel the urge to.
A sales assistant approached us, pulling out three of the store's most popular designs and running through the usual sales pitch.
"They all look great. Which one do you like best, Jess?" I asked, gesturing to the rings on display.
But it was like she hadn't even heard me. Her gaze was fixed downward, fingers tapping rapidly at her phone. It looked like she was replying to someone's text message.
Despite her awkward attempts to hide it, I saw the recipient's name on the screen—Cameron.
"Jess?"
She only snapped back to attention after I called out to her again.
"Yeah, that's fine. Let's go with what you picked," she replied with a strained smile.
I caught every flicker of her reaction and replied quietly, "I didn't pick one, Jess. I asked which one you liked."
Jessica froze, her fingers stilling on the screen.
Suddenly, it was as if she had made up her mind about something big.
She looked up at me and asked, "Cameron's back. He's at the airport right now. Would you… come with me to pick him up?"
Chapter 2
Jessica finally said it.
As I looked at her face, I felt no anger, nor a sense of betrayal or sadness. Inside, I felt completely calm, as if I had solved a puzzle.
"Sure, let's go."
With those words, I confirmed that I didn't feel sad at all and followed her to the airport.
Throughout my years with Jessica, Cameron's existence had always been suffocating for me. It was like a sharp claw had gripped my heart and twisted my throat. But now, as I watched him walking toward us, dragging his suitcase, I felt surprisingly unaffected.
On the other hand, Jessica was a bundle of nerves as she fidgeted with her clothes.
Finally, she glanced at me anxiously and asked, "Do I look okay in this outfit?"
"Don't worry, you look great," I replied.
In all the years we had been together, I had never seen Jessica care this much about her appearance in front of me. Usually, it took a lot of coaxing for her to follow me for a night out with friends. Even then, she would grab any old jacket from her closet and head out.
During parties, she would look miserable the entire time. Whenever I tried to engage her in conversation, her eyes were always filled with impatience and disdain. If friends asked about our relationship, she would simply say we were just friends.
She had never once admitted in public that I was her boyfriend.
It made sense, I guess. Being a simp probably didn't earn me much respect, right? No wonder Jessica never looked my way.
Cameron approached us, suitcase in tow. He embraced Jessica first before his gaze shifted to me.
He appraised me from head to toe before asking, "Jess, who's this handsome guy?"
Jessica shot me a guilty glance, then said, "This is my friend, Sebastian Grant…"
She called me a friend, not her boyfriend.
For a moment, it felt like my heart was being squeezed, making it hard to breathe. But just as quickly, that sharp pain faded, replaced by a strange sense of relief.
After Jessica spoke, I extended my hand to Cameron. "Jess has missed you very much for the past five years. Welcome back."
At my words, Jessica's expression shifted from guilt to shock. She stared at me, her eyes flickering with confusion.
I found it amusing.
Was she really surprised that I hadn't outed myself as her boyfriend right in front of Cameron? Shouldn't she feel happy that I was playing along? After all, Jessica had denied our relationship publicly more than once.
When Jessica's university friends came to Ashenford to visit, she had also introduced me as just a friend. That night, I had my first real argument with her. I asked if she was embarrassed to have me as her boyfriend. In response to my outburst, she simply smiled coldly, not even bothering to say a word. The way she looked at me made it seem like I was just a ridiculous clown throwing a tantrum.
Looking back, I realize I was being foolish. In the grand scheme of things, whether she acknowledged our relationship didn't matter as much as I had made it out to be.
Cameron clapped me on the shoulder. "Thanks for looking out for Jess all these years."
Before I could respond, Jessica chimed in, "Alright, you two are meeting for the first time, so let's skip the emotional stuff."
I smiled at the irony. Jessica still didn't really know me. She was worried I might overshare and accidentally reveal that we were more than just friends. But she seemed to forget that I was never one to beat around the bush.
"I'm starving after a whole day on a plane. Let's go grab something to eat!" Cameron suggested, lovingly ruffling Jessica's hair.
He deftly steered the conversation away, and Jessica's eyes lit up.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Fried chicken."
Soon, the three of us made our way to the parking lot. This time, I didn't open the passenger door for Jessica. Instead, she slid into the back seat next to Cameron without hesitation. She chatted with him the entire drive, asking about his time abroad and laughing at his stories. I realized I had never seen her this animated before.
Maybe the Jessica who was so lively around Cameron was the real her.
Thinking back on the five years I had spent pouring my heart into our relationship, it struck me how little I had received in return. She wouldn't even show her true self to me.
I was such a failure.
I needed to wake up.
Cameron and Jessica were completely wrapped up in their own conversation, treating me like I was invisible. But that was fine. If I stayed out of their discussions, I wouldn't feel awkward.
I glanced at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I wore a light smile, appearing indifferent to it all.
Following Jessica's directions, I drove them to a small place tucked away in a narrow alley in Ashenford. The area felt remote, and the cold winter air was filled with the scent of fried meat that made my stomach turn a little.
I had never seen Jessica eat in a place like this before. Now, she walked side by side with Cameron, her gaze fixed on him. The crunch of snow beneath my feet faded as I slowed my pace, and she didn't even notice.
I watched their backs. Jessica was clad in a white down jacket that perfectly matched Cameron's outfit. She even reached out to steady him when he slipped on the steps.
The restaurant was bustling, mostly filled with students from the nearby university. I followed them inside, and as I entered, I heard the cheerful voice of the owner's wife.
"Oh! It's you two! It's been ages since you last came. You must be married by now, right?"
Chapter 3
It turned out that this fried chicken place was Jessica and Cameron's favorite haunt from their university days. So, this was a little trip down memory lane for them. When the owner's wife asked that question, Jessica and Cameron both shared a look of understanding and just went along with it, not bothering to clarify.
Deep down, I knew Jessica must be hoping that her fiancé was Cameron. After all, despite everything I had done for her over the last five years, she had never forgotten him.
The smell of sizzling meat filled the air. The restaurant was surprisingly clean, a contrast to the chaos outside.
Jessica and Cameron settled into a corner of the restaurant. They laughed and joked, their noses turning red from the spice, while I felt a wave of nausea wash over me.
She served him first, piling food onto his plate with a bright smile. Just as she was about to go back to her own meal, she remembered me and placed a few pieces of spicy fried chicken on my plate. The steam from the freshly fried chicken swirled up around me as I set my cutlery down.
"I don't eat spicy food," I said, my tone sharper than I intended.
The restaurant seemed to go silent for a moment.
Finally realizing her mistake, Jessica looked up at me, her eyes wide with concern.
"Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I was just thinking about how much Cameron loves this place. I completely forgot that you don't eat spicy food."
She seemed genuinely anxious, like she thought I was about to explode. I caught a glimpse of unease in her eyes; it was clear she was worried about Cameron finding out about our relationship.
Watching her fidget and her long lashes fluttering nervously, I didn't feel anger or sadness. Instead, there was a strange calmness, as if all emotion had been drained from me. The moment Cameron stepped back into her life, she had made her choice, and I had long since given up on hoping she would ever love me.
Deciding I didn't want to stay any longer, I stood up and looked at them, my voice steady as I said, "It's been five years since you two saw each other. You should catch up. I just remembered that I have something urgent to handle, so I'll head out now."
With that, I pushed my chair back and walked out of the restaurant.
Behind me, I heard Cameron ask Jessica in confusion, "Does your friend have a thing for you? Am I making him jealous?"
Jessica paused for a moment, then laughed, shaking her head. "No way! We're besties, that's all! Besides, you know you're the only one for me, right?"
Her words felt so sincere.
Strangely, I realized I didn't even feel a hint of disappointment. In that instant, it hit me—my feelings for Jessica had faded.
-
Cameron was Jessica's first love. I had always known that. She loved him to the core, and when he left without a word, it had shattered her. I loved her to the point of obsession, so even when I realized she only agreed to be my girlfriend out of spite, I accepted it without hesitation.
At first, Jessica had been so cold towards me. We shared the same home but never exchanged a word. I never complained—this was the path I had chosen. I believed that if I just held on long enough, I could melt her icy heart.
But after five years, it all seemed like a cruel joke. In the end, I was the only one who had poured any emotions into this relationship.
Jessica didn't get home until the early hours of the morning. I was still in the study, engrossed in my book when she came in. She didn't say anything to me and went straight to the bedroom. I heard rustling sounds and went to check on her.
She was packing her suitcase and putting her clothes in it. When she saw me, she paused, then straightened up and got right to the point.
"I think it's best if I move out."
The silence in the room was deafening.
I studied her face closely, searching for any trace of emotion. There was a flicker of guilt in her eyes, but it was barely there.
Now that we were at this juncture, I pressed my lips together and asked bluntly, "You want to break up, right?"
After all these years of entanglement, I was more exhausted than anyone. I wanted to let go more than anything. I had thought Jessica would at least wait until tomorrow to confront me, but it seemed she couldn't wait to cut ties.
She pursed her lips. "Sebastian, it feels unfair for you to waste your time on me. Maybe it's time you look for someone else."
I took a deep breath and smiled brightly. "True! Your best friend previously wanted to hook up with me, you know? And honestly, I was kind of interested."
Chapter 4
In the dim light, I couldn't tell if it was just my imagination, but Jessica's expression darkened for a moment before she laughed.
"Sebastian, are you trying to spite me?"
I bent down and adjusted her neatly packed suitcase as I spoke in a steady tone, "You're overthinking it. After meeting her a few times, I thought she seemed like a great girl."
Jessica frowned, skepticism written all over her face. "Are you sure you're not just trying to get back at me?"
"You said it yourself that I should look for someone else. Now that Cameron's back, I'm returning you to him. I have to move on too, right?"
She didn't respond and just stared deeply at me. I caught a fleeting glimpse of something in her eyes—a moment of sadness that passed too quickly.
"Since you're interested in her, I'll set up a gathering soon to introduce you."
With that, Jessica grabbed her suitcase and walked out. The door slammed shut behind her with a resounding bang. She was clearly angry that I hadn't begged her to not break up with me, instead mentioning her best friend and how I thought she seemed like a great woman.
-
Jessica was giving me the cold shoulder again. When she ignored me in the past, I would spiral into a pit of gloom, racking my brain for ways to make amends. But these days, I found a strange sense of relief in not reaching out to her.
I threw myself into work, pouring all my energy into it. Without the constant weight of my emotions dragging me down, my productivity soared. I received commendations from my boss two days in a row.
A week later, Jessica called me. She was serious about playing matchmaker between her friend and me, and to that end, had arranged for a dinner.
I agreed with a smile.
When I arrived, Jessica and Cameron were already there. As I walked over, I spotted their interlocked fingers right away. Cameron glanced at me, lifting Jessica's hand slightly.
"So, Jess and I are together now."
I raised an eyebrow, allowing a small smile to form on my lips, as if I'd known this was coming all along.
Jessica grinned too. "You're going to wish us well, right, Seb?"
I recognized her attempt to provoke a reaction, but felt no stir of emotion inside me.
"Of course. Congratulations! It's nice to see lovebirds find their happily ever after."
Jessica then introduced me to her friend, Selena Morris.
"Hi, Sebastian. I'm Selena," she said softly, her gaze warm and inviting.
Suddenly, I remembered the last time we had met at the bar—when she had drunkenly clung to me, asking if I wanted to sleep with her. Now, with her sweet demeanor, I found myself questioning if that had really been her.
I hesitated, lost in thought for a moment. She fluttered her long eyelashes, looking a bit flustered before she smiled again.
Without waiting for my response, she continued, "I asked Jess to set this up. Please don't be mad."
I snapped back to reality and smiled back at her. "So, does this dinner mean you're interested in pursuing me?"
Chapter 5
Selena's face flushed bright red. "Do you not remember me? I actually knew you before Jess did. I've liked you for a long time, but it always seemed like you only had eyes for her…"
As her friend spoke, Jessica cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable. "Lena, what are you talking about?"
It was only then that Selena seemed to remember Cameron was standing next to her.
"Cameron, it's just my personal opinion. Jess and Sebastian are only friends!" she explained hurriedly.
Cameron chuckled and affectionately ruffled Jessica's hair. "I won't read too much into it. I've known since university that my girl is never going to fall for anyone but me."
I remained quiet, just standing there.
At that moment, I felt a wave of failure wash over me. I had been living with Jessica as her boyfriend for five years, yet our relationship was so unremarkable that even her best friend was completely in the dark about it.
Seeing me lost in thought, Selena waved a hand in front of my face. "Sebastian, don't feel embarrassed! If you're not interested, that's fine—we can just be friends!"
Jessica was watching us while sipping her juice with a thoughtful expression.
I smiled. "I'm not embarrassed at all. You seem really great."
After a moment, Selena seemed to gather her courage to say, "I know it's a little forward for a girl to say this, but if you're open to it, I'd like a chance to be your girlfriend."
I noticed how Jessica set down her juice, her fingers idly tapping against the glass. Selena's gaze was intense, and I felt a strange warmth radiating from it.
I chuckled. After ensuring that there was no bitterness or desire for revenge in my heart, I replied calmly, "Sure, let's give it a shot!"
The sound of tapping fingers stopped abruptly.
"Give it a shot? What does that mean?" Selena asked, momentarily taken aback. But she quickly regained her composure, her cheeks reddening even more. "Okay… that's fine!"
"Since I don't have much experience with dating, let's just start as friends," I added.
Jessica took another sip of her juice, her tone light and teasing as she chimed in, "Yeah, he really doesn't have any experience."
Her comment casually dismissed the five years I had poured into chasing after her.
After dinner, I naturally offered to drive Selena home. Jessica watched as she climbed into the passenger seat. When I opened the door, Cameron and Selena noticed the sticker on my dashboard that read 'Sebastian's Lover's Seat'.
The last time Cameron was in my car, it had been dark. Also, he was sitting in the back, so he hadn't caught sight of it.
"'Sebastian's Lover's Seat'? Nice touch, man! You've got a flair for romance," Cameron joked. "But honestly, you should be more direct—just slap 'Selena's Seat' on there."
Selena's cheeks turned crimson at his comment. I couldn't help but remember the moment I bought that sticker. My intention had been to surprise Jessica, hoping it would touch her heart. I thought she would be thrilled. But instead, she had found it childish.
Later, when I was upset about her reaction, she'd tried to cheer me up by posting a picture on social media with [Sebastian says this is my special seat] as the caption. At the time, I'd been genuinely moved.
It wasn't until three months later that I stumbled upon the fact that her post was only visible to me. It was a sobering realization that, from the very beginning, I had been a complete joke in her eyes.
I reached over and ripped the sticker off, hastily concocting an excuse, "I lost a bet playing Truth or Dare with some friends and just forgot to take it off."
I smiled, hoping to deflect any further questions. Besides, Jessica probably didn't care about it.
As I closed the door for Selena with care, Jessica pursed her lips, then said in a lighthearted tone, "Lena, Seb's got the worst insecurity. Now that you've claimed his passenger seat, you can't sit in another guy's passenger seat ever again!"
Knowing Jessica's personality, I didn't take her words as mockery. At that moment, I realized she felt a flicker of guilt towards me. She was at least somewhat aware of the pain and anxiety I had experienced over the past five years in our relationship.
But Cameron had always been her first choice. She had made up her mind before ever really considering me.
As I started the car, Jessica and Cameron took a few steps back. Unexpectedly, she looked up and glanced at me. After driving a certain distance, it struck me that she was watching as I drove off, her gaze locked in the direction I was heading.
Chapter 6
A week after getting to know Selena, she started reaching out to me more often.
[Sebastian, there's a new movie out that's supposed to be really good. Want to go see it?]
[Sebastian, do you like Eastern cuisine? I know a place that has amazing food.]
[Sebastian, we got a ton of coffee beans at work, but I don't usually drink coffee. Can I bring some over for you?]
I loved drinking coffee, which was something Jessica knew all too well.
Seeing Selena's message gave me a little jolt of excitement, so I replied: [Do you get coffee beans from your company every year?]
Selena responded instantly: [Yep! I save them all up. I'm not really a coffee drinker, but it's good stuff. Want me to bring it to you from now on?]
Selena and Jessica worked at the same company, where they received coffee beans every year. Jessica knew how much I loved coffee, yet she had never brought me any—not once in five years.
Thinking back, it hit me how much I had invested emotionally, only to come up empty-handed.
I didn't reply to Selena right away, but when I got off work, she showed up looking flustered.
When she saw me, she looked genuinely anxious and babbled, "I didn't mean to show up unannounced! You didn't reply to my message, and I wanted to bring the coffee beans for you…"
Her nervousness made me smile.
Perhaps having a girlfriend this cute might actually be fun.
Selena handed me the coffee beans, and the next day, I asked her to join me after work for a movie I had been wanting to see.
I really enjoyed the atmosphere of a movie theater. I had tried to take Jessica out to see movies a bunch of times, but she always found an excuse to bail. Going alone felt pointless, so eventually, I just stopped asking.
While scrolling through my phone yesterday, I discovered that this particular movie was back in theaters. Since it was an old movie, there weren't many people watching it, and the environment was comfortable and open.
As the movie approached its climax, I suddenly heard a light laugh that felt oddly familiar. I instinctively looked down to see the outline of a face in the row ahead. Without needing a second glance, I recognized them immediately—Jessica and Cameron.
So, Jessica didn't dislike movies; she just didn't want to watch them with me.
But seeing her now, I felt surprisingly calm. The fluttering of my heart had quieted down.
As the credits rolled and the audience started to leave, Selena and I walked out together, only to bump right into them.
"Lena?" Jessica called out.
When her gaze landed on me, her expression grew more serious.
Selena smiled and nodded. "Hey, Jess. Were you guys here to see a movie too?"
Jessica tightened her grip on Cameron's hand. "Cam said this movie was really good, so I came to keep him company."
When Jessica spoke, her face lit up with a warm smile. It was a look I had never seen in the five years we were together. Maybe it was the glow of true love. Her typically cold eyes sparkled softly, and her smile was brighter than I ever remembered.
I could see her love for Cameron clearly, and it made me feel like I'd been a fool for the past five years.
I exchanged quick pleasantries with the two of them before turning to Selena. "Shall we go?"
Selena waved goodbye to Jessica and followed me out of the movie theater.
As we passed a café, Selena glanced inside for a while, so I decided to buy a drink for the two of us. I ordered her a hot chocolate, which was still warm in my hands as I handed it to her.
"The air conditioning in the movie theater was too strong. Your hands must be freezing. Do you like hot chocolate?"
Selena cradled the cup and nodded with a smile. "I do!"
Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from Jessica. This was the first time she had reached out to me since Cameron returned.
[Did you enjoy the movie with Selena?]
What did she mean by that? Was it a genuine check-in after cutting ties, or was it a sarcastic jab at my happiness?
I didn't reply. A few moments later, another message from Jessica popped up.
The words felt like a slap.
[Things seem to be going well with you and Selena. I guess you two have slept together already? What position did you use?]
I stared at the screen, processing the message for a few seconds before I typed out my response.
[Are you that curious? Want me to send you a video to watch?]
Chapter 7
[Not interested.]
[It's been five years, and I honestly didn't think you'd be interested in Selena.]
Not wanting to see any more of Jessica's messages, I shut off my phone and walked with Selena, chatting as we made our way to her apartment.
When we reached the building, I turned around after bidding her goodbye.
But then, she called out, "Sebastian."
I turned back to find her nervously fidgeting with her fingers in the dim light, hesitating before finally speaking up.
"The next time we meet, can I... hold your hand?"
I smiled and nodded. "Sure."
Selena looked up as if electrified, then stepped forward and gently kissed me. It was a shy kiss, fitting for her personality. As soon as it happened, she turned away, not daring to meet my eyes.
"Get some rest once you arrive home. See you tomorrow," she said nervously before she turned and hurried off, her face a bright shade of red.
My heart fluttered at the unexpected kiss, leaving me momentarily dazed.
-
The next day was a Saturday, so I savored a leisurely sleep-in. In the past, I would jump out of bed right on time, rush to the market for the freshest ingredients, and then queue up in the city for a serving of pudding that Jessica loved.
I had acted like a diligent, devoted man.
But without that obligation weighing on me, I felt a newfound lightness. Still, my body's internal clock kicked in, waking me up sooner than I wanted.
As I picked up my phone, a message from Jessica flashed on the screen.
[I'm craving some fried chicken and mashed potatoes today.]
Before I could even process it, she retracted the message.
It must have been meant for Cameron, but accidentally sent to me instead. Did she really think I would still jump to obey her commands?
Ignoring her, I got up and started my morning routine.
A little while later, Selena sent me a message inviting me out to the pedestrian mall. Her enthusiastic invitation was hard to resist, so I eventually agreed to meet her later that evening.
The pedestrian mall was located in the old town of Ashenford, lined with low-rise buildings and small shops. The lights twinkled in the evening, and the street was adjacent to the river. Many locals came out to stroll and enjoy the cool breeze.
When I met up with Selena, she was holding a thermos close to her chest.
As I approached, she smiled mysteriously. "I made coffee at home just for you! It's still warm. You have to try it before it gets cold."
I felt a warmth spread through me at her thoughtful gesture. I reached for the thermos, unscrewed the lid, and took a sip. The bittersweet taste of coffee filled my mouth. It was pleasantly refreshing.
"Is it good?" she asked eagerly.
I nodded earnestly. "It's really good."
She let out a breath as if a weight had been lifted, then took my hand to stroll along the riverbank.
Selena wasn't overly talkative or outgoing, but that suited me just fine. We walked side by side, enjoying the comfortable silence. I noticed how she furrowed her brow, trying to think of something to say. It was adorably endearing. Even when there were pauses in the conversation, the air didn't feel stifling.
I couldn't help but recall my time with Jessica. I used to tread carefully around her, watching her every expression, afraid I might provoke her. Looking back, I realized how much I had constrained myself by trying so hard to please her.
What a waste of my youth.
Suddenly, there was a loud bang.
The night sky erupted in a burst of color!
Fireworks lit up across the river, drawing the attention of everyone around. Selena and I had the perfect spot to watch the show. As I gazed up at the fireworks, a swell of emotion filled my heart.
When the display ended, Selena beamed at me. "I actually checked the official website and saw there would be fireworks tonight, so I invited you out."
Her voice bubbling with excitement, she continued, "In my hometown, there's a legend that if two people watch fireworks together, they'll receive the blessing of the gods and be together forever."
I had once said something similar to Jessica, but she had rolled her eyes and dismissed it as boring information.
I looked at Selena. Her dark eyes were shimmering in the night, and I saw sincerity and joy radiating from her smile. She was also watching me, her eyes filled with anticipation.
"Thank you, Lena," I said, returning her smile.
But then she grew anxious, spinning in place, her hands running through her hair. "Sebastian, does this mean we're officially a couple?"
Before I could answer, she rushed on, her voice a mixture of eagerness and trepidation, "Don't worry! I'll only ever like you and will be by your side forever."
She laid her heart bare, presenting herself to me with a sincerity that shone brighter than the sun.
My eyes stung with emotion.
With Jessica, I had felt so unfortunate. Yet with Selena, I realized I was incredibly lucky.
I smiled warmly and pulled her into my arms.
"Lena… What is it about me that you like?" I asked curiously.
Chapter 8
It turned out that Selena had known me for quite some time.
Back during the first day of the new semester, it had been raining cats and dogs. While waiting at the bus stop, I noticed a girl standing there, completely soaked. As my bus pulled up, I walked over and handed her my umbrella.
That was when Selena first developed feelings for me.
Later, when we crossed paths again, I didn't remember her. So, when we met at the bar, she had drunkenly clung to me like a mad woman and insisted on wanting to sleep with me. She did that because she had been secretly in love with me for all those years.
I understood the feeling of loving someone and not being able to have them—I had been there.
Right now, my heart ached for Selena as I looked at this foolish woman in front of me. Though they were best friends, she had no idea that Jessica and I had been an official couple. To her, it looked like I was just humiliating myself as I clung to her friend.
For five years, all she saw was the ugliest, most helpless side of me.
She had tried to stop caring about me, but one evening after work, she saw me again outside the office. I was standing in the cold, holding a thermos as I waited for Jessica. My cheeks were bright red, and I kept shifting my feet to stay warm, but I still wore a hopeful smile as I waited quietly.
When she saw me standing there, the feelings she wanted to discard came rushing back again.
She said that me treating her best friend that way proved I was a good person. And she had asked Jessica more than once if I was just a friend to her. Jessica had assured her that I was, so Selena believed that one day, I would turn around and see her.
Luckily, I did.
After being honest with each other, things between Selena and I became easier.
The more I got to know her, the more I realized what a great person she was—honest, straightforward, and considerate. Selena never lost her temper with me. She always listened carefully to what I had to say. Whenever we had a disagreement, we would have serious discussions.
Spending time with her made me really happy.
In the blink of an eye, two months had passed.
Selena had become a bigger part of my life. She started asking what I wanted for dinner, and would come by my office after work. After going grocery shopping together, we would prepare a meal, with me washing and chopping the ingredients while she cooked.
One time, she asked me for a spare key to my apartment, and I gave it to her without hesitation. As I handed the key to her, we both froze for a moment.
She looked at me and asked in a hoarse voice, "What if I moved in with you?"
Chapter 9
When I refused, she immediately responded, "I was just joking."
Then, testing the waters, she hesitantly asked, "What about if I moved in next door?"
I didn't answer.
But to my surprise, just a couple of days later, she really did move into the empty apartment next door that had been vacant for two years.
One night, she knocked on my door, asking if she could use my bathroom since she didn't have hot water yet. Later, she stood in my bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel, and asked if she could crash on my couch for the night because her place was too messy to sleep in.
She made sure to assure me that she wouldn't do anything, which made me laugh.
She was a woman. Wasn't she worried I would take advantage of her?
I ended up giving her my bedroom.
The next morning, she woke up early and made breakfast. When I got up, I saw her wearing an apron, working hard at the kitchen counter. This was the kind of life I had been dreaming of for the last five years.
In a completely impulsive moment, I pulled out my phone and took a picture of her back as she worked.
The next day, I found myself smiling at the photo in the office. My coworkers teased me, asking if I was in love since I had been walking around with a permanent smile on my face, and was much more cheerful than usual.
Was I?
Well, I hadn't thought about Jessica in a long time.
-
Living in the same building as Selena meant I would pick her up after work every day and drive us both back home.
One day, she called ahead to let me know I didn't need to pick her up. After questioning her for a while, she finally told me that Jessica had gotten into an argument with Cameron. He had disappeared for three days without any explanation, and Jessica wasn't doing well. So, Selena would be going over to her place to keep her company for a few days.
As I listened to her talk about Jessica, I realized something strange—I didn't feel upset at all. Instead, there was a strange sense of satisfaction, almost like revenge. I was petty enough to hope that Jessica would really understand what it felt like to have her feelings wasted.
Selena didn't come home until three days later. When we finally saw each other, she told me that Jessica was doing a lot better.
I ruffled her hair. "I'm not worried about how she's doing, silly."
"I've missed your cooking though," I added with a smile.
I changed the subject easily, and Selena's attention was quickly diverted. She eagerly pulled me out the door, heading to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for dinner.
I realized something then—I really didn't care about Jessica anymore. Even knowing she wasn't in the best place, I didn't think about her at all.
While we were having dinner that evening, Selena put on a pitiful expression and asked if I could spend the next day with her to celebrate her birthday. I checked the calendar, intending to make a note of when her birthday was to remember it in the future.
That was when I realized something—Selena's birthday was the same day as Jessica's mother's death anniversary.
Chapter 10
In past years, it was the day I always spent with Jessica. I would take the day off from work and prepare all the ingredients for our meals. We would stay in the house together all day without going anywhere.
I dropped everything just to be there for her. We would talk, watch movies, water the plants on the balcony, and make dinner. I would wait for her to finish eating, then drape a blanket over her and watch her drift off to sleep on the couch.
Her mother's death anniversary was a day only she and I remembered. She never told anyone else—not even Selena.
The impact Jessica's mother's suicide had on her wasn't obvious to anyone else. The rumors at the time said her mother had been unfaithful, almost abandoning her family to run off abroad with her lover.
So, after her mother's death, Jessica continued on as usual. She went to work every day, showing no outward signs of being affected.
But I knew.
I knew Jessica was grieving. Every little movement, every gesture, even the smile on her face, was soaked in sadness.
I looked at the red mark on the calendar and silently erased it.
-
Today, I took my usual day off.
But instead of being with Jessica, I spent the day at an amusement park with Selena. For lunch, we went to the restaurant she'd been raving about for weeks, the one that served the best Eastern cuisine.
In the evening, I got a call from Jessica.
"Why didn't you come?" she asked, sounding tired.
"Lena asked me to stay with her," I replied.
On the other end of the line, there was a long silence.
After a while, Jessica finally asked, "Do you know what today is?"
"I know, but today is Selena's birthday. You should've had Cameron spend the day with you."
Jessica laughed bitterly. "I told him about today a week ago, but he still went mountain biking with his friends early in the morning. He's nothing like you. He doesn't care about my feelings."
I sighed softly. "Relationships take work, you know. Both people have to meet halfway."
Realizing that might have sounded too cold, I took a deep breath, changed my tone, and tried to comfort her.
"Are you okay? If you're feeling down, go for a walk or call a friend to hang out."
There was a long pause, then she hummed faintly in agreement before hanging up.
She had made her choice, and so had I.
I already started my new life; I couldn't be there for her forever.
The next morning, I woke up to two missed calls from Jessica. The first was at midnight, the second at two in the morning. During that time, I had already set my phone to silent and was sound asleep.
Looking at the missed calls, I couldn't help but remember the times when I would spend the entire night tossing and turning after Jessica and I argued. My chest would tighten like a dirty rag being twisted—dry, wrinkled, and painful. Eventually, unable to take the pain anymore, I would cave in and reach out to her first.
Back then, I was too scared to call. I would carefully craft the perfect text, choosing every word with caution, each sentence dripping with helplessness and humility.
No matter what we were fighting about, Jessica got used to me always being the one to apologize first. She would nod and play it cool, then we would make up like nothing had happened.
But last night, I had stayed up too late with Selena. After she went home, I barely managed to wash my face before collapsing into bed, exhausted.
If I hadn't seen Jessica's missed calls when I woke up, I probably would've forgotten about her entirely.
I thought for a moment, then decided to send her a quick message: [I was already asleep last night. Did you need something?]
After sending it, I got up and got ready for the day. When I picked up my phone again, I saw that Jessica had replied faster than I expected.
Her message was short: [It's nothing.]