The Dead Don’t Forgive

For three years after my death, my mortal enemy Julian Davies visited my grave.

The first year, he threw a wild party right on my tombstone.

The second year, he hosted a barbecue party in front of my grave.

The third year, he didn't show up.

I heard he'd fallen into a river trying to pick up his phone.

Now, he was the one dying.

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Julian was dying.

He'd jumped into a raging river for a phone. He managed to grab it but couldn't swim back up.

They pulled him out, but he never woke up. Now he was lying in a coma in the ER.

When I heard the news, I laughed for three solid minutes.